Self-enquiry

“There is only one decision you need to make: You are either working at your Freedom or you are accepting your bondage.”

– Robert Adams

We rarely stop to think.

Or, more particularly, wonder why it is we allow every action, desire and motive to be controlled by our mind.

Just imagine a place where, in our waking and dream states, we weren’t driven mad by our minds always wanting?

Right now, you must wonder what on earth my writings have to do my previous social media persona. Well, quite a lot actually. (Social media was the opening to a new place for me.)

For as long as I can remember – certainly back to my late teens – I have been fascinated by the mind. Initially, the question that occupied me was to understand why some people appeared more successful than others. But, befitting my youth, it boiled down to wealth. How sad!

And even when I was working as a lawyer, I felt drawn to the process of (mind) self-enquiry to work out how I could get better. It was then that I became interested in emotional intelligence and the psychology of communication. But it wasn’t until I was hospitalised that I had the opportunity to reflect on my life and ask the more serious question: ‘Who am I?

It started with a look at Zen, mindfulness and meditation but over the last few months has developed much further, prompted by my work with my coach and mentor Ando Perez. She has exposed me to way of seeing that has always been there but was clouded by all my corporate thinking.

Right now my path is moving along a very different line to one that I’ve known before. In simple terms, it’s to go much deeper with the question ‘Who am I?’. In my case, it means letting go, not judging, being more loving and allowing things to be.

The process (if you can call it that…) is the most liberating I’ve ever experienced. Of course, money is in there – it always is – but not in a way that features in my thinking, overtly or otherwise. I know that my work ethic and passion for life will never leave me that and helping others.

I offer no apology for the fact that this represents a departure from my previous existence. In fact, I would go so far to say that I can’t help where I am. It just is.

Indeed, I strongly believe there’s a reason why I find myself reading the works of Robert Adams, Osho and Lewis Thompson. Without wanting to do a crass injustice to them, they each have a similar message, namely that to be happy, whole and alive (in the moment) we have to live our lives much closer to who we are.

So for now you can expect to see a lot less of my yakking about social media. Also, as I announced the other day on Soundcloud, I expect to blog less so that I can focus on my writing and poetry. I don’t have any goals for 2014 but I do want to publish more than my current book of poetry.

Thank you for all the support you have shown over the years and remember that happiness will never come from living out there. It lies within.

– Julian.