The paradox of becoming you
How can you ‘become’ you?
You are you.
But, too often, we strive for something different – physically, emotionally or intellectually. This sets up a tension; and one that many people never overcome:
do they truly understand their self-identity?
For as long as I can recall, I have been on a mission:
to awaken my inner genius.
I thought I would find it by ardently pursuing my career dream. But, despite my successes, something was missing:
Of course, if I hadn’t given it my all then, perhaps, I would have made room for some extra-curricula activity (aka non-work) that would have provided an outlet for my messianic zeal. I have always been driven, but not to the point of putting my interests ahead of others. The sort of drive that keeps me awake at night, not in a state of panic, but the type of self-talk that reminds me of the (success) promises I have made to my inner self: “If you just work harder Ju then you will be successful.”
I’m sure there are many people who achieve a breakthrough moment, but too many people never manage to decode what life is all about, and end up repeating a pattern of behaviour that leaves them bereft of meaning.
Some would call me brave. Others deluded; but I made a conscious decision in August 2010 to leave my legal career behind. The sudden seeing – if you can call it that – came during my recuperation from a subarachnoid haemorrhage that to this day remains undiagnosed, meaning it could recur again (yes it could kill me). Of course, I would prefer if me and my family hadn’t had to endure the trauma of a battery of invasive tests, but if that moment didn’t make me realise the importance of life and living, then nothing would.
I count myself fortunate that I didn’t leap into the abyss and start out all over again, but what I came to realise, from all those years of work, is that to be truly happy we have to engineer the life that we want.
And make no mistake that is hard.
The thing is there are so many ill winds out there that many people prefer not to change their habits for fear of losing what they have.
Let me make one thing clear. I’m not saying that the whole world walks around in a delusional state of meaninglessness, but too many people know that they are living out a life that isn’t fulfilling their dreams and love of something more than just the money.
Ask yourself this question. If you had a choice, and money wasn’t an issue (I know it is but just let yourself dream for a moment), then what would you do with the rest of your life?
Just think about that for more than a second or two.
What would you do?
And I suppose there lies the nub of things.
If we want a different life, we have to change hour by hour, day by day and year by year.
From my perspective, having wrestled with the evolution vs. revolution paradigm, I am firmly in the camp that says we have to look at our lives from the bottom up. It is great to have visions, dreams or a mission but that doesn’t easily manifest into daily behaviour. What we need to do is organise our space, time and connections in such a way that we find time to think and act purposefully.
I know that doing lots of things – “I’m in the zone” – whilst hugely satisfying does have a nasty habit of leaving you feeling despondent when you make the wrong or no progress. It’s just that you do need to marry the top with the bottom. I suppose where I come in is narrowing the gap so that you don’t constantly run around making no progress.
The future therefore lies in me helping others find the key to unlocking their potential.
I expect to reveal more of the process in my blogging, coaching, writing, and courses.
Are you up for it?
I hope so.
I most certainly am.
My new site
As you will have seen from my post the other day on LiveJournal, I have spent time refining my site to dispense with a lot of the rather self-congratulatory material that I have amassed over the last three years. This blog will never be finished but what you see now is much closer to me than any of the previous incarnations.
I have multiple aims for the blog, but, first and foremost, I want it to be useful. And I want you to feel that it is worth taking the time to explore and not feel that you are being sold some New Age programme devoid of merit or meaning.
I know that I have played footloose and fancy-free with my blogging schedule, contents and ideation but no more. I have and will continue to tighten things up so that you can understand:
- my message
- the format of my posts, essays and writing
- how to take things to the next level
Simplicity, minimalism and clarity will be paramount.
One final thing. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Ando Perez for all the help she has given me not just in building and editing my site but for her insight and wisdom.
Thank you Ando.