âYou will never really think hard about your life until your oxygen mask is taken away from you when you are at the bed of the ocean. At that exact moment, your true self will be revealed. You will really know if you are a believer or an atheist, whether you really love life or hate it as you usually say. All your claims will be testedâ
â Bangambiki Habyarimana, Pearls Of Eternity
Who are you?
A name?
A list of accomplishments?
Your future dreams?
Or, you past nightmares?
You donât know.
Before you shout at the screen, try this for size:
âWhat is there when there is no thinking?â — see the work of Darryl Bailey.
Not so fast.
Sit with that question.
For me — and I donât mean the egoic identity — there is everything and no-thing.
WOW, thatâs pretty far out; but that is what âitâ is. (If you donât believe me, go find the âIâ in âI amâ.)
This is something way bigger than my thinking mind can conceive. Actually, even if youâre not religious you could call it God, as long as youâve not mixed up the white-bearded, elderly gentleman with the Universe (which is more apt to describe what I now think of as God).
But what does the foregoing have to do with showing up in the world?
EVERYTHING!
We might use the term âauthenticâ, but so few people ever stop to invite the more beautiful question — e.g. âWhat am I?â — and, as a result, journey on in a way where the only âdriverâ is daily doing, not self-realisation, let alone self-actualisation — see the work of Abraham Maslow.
Stop.
And focus.
If you dare, take a moment out of your day and think about why youâre here.
Is it to assemble a bushel of things (and then move things around), or is it to drop the egoic identity and be who you were born of of your mother, i.e. true self?
Does it matter?
Only you can answer that.
The thing is, Iâm not expecting anyone to grasp or get what Iâm saying (particularly when the âmeâ stands in the way of lifting the veil of separation), but Iâd wager that if someone offered you a way to inner peace youâd be all over it like a rash. Thatâs not to say you wouldnât be stuck still in the primordial soup we call life, but it does mean youâre better able to cope with the vicissitudes of life.
And hereâs the kicker: until you drop the false self — you canât engineer it — then youâll be stuck in your thoughts, emotions, feelings which you think are life, and not the whole damn thing.
I mean, come on, are you telling me that your heart beating, your eyes seeing, you nose smelling and your ears hearing are any less you than your thoughts? Of course not. But we donât ever see that because our big fat stupid ego always gets in the way.
Do you see now why so many people are seeking?
For me, this true self v. false self dichotomy isnât either (and) or, itâs everything — i.e. just this.
Donât get me wrong: itâs easy to flip in and out of a thought-induced life, but what I am saying is that as soon as we rest in awareness (of everything) we immediately recognise the point of what Iâm saying, i.e. thereâs something much vaster than our thoughts.
So, in summary, if you want to show up, truly, you canât expect to do so whilst youâre lost in your head. Sure, you can try mindfulness but that can just as easily become another thing to get.
No, if you want to show up, then simply âBeâ and drop everything else.
Yes, thatâs it. The highest form of meditation is to Be.
But, at the end of the day, you have to find your own way in the world, and my experience is unique to me as yours is to you. If thatâs right then you must understand that to pass through the membrane from false to true self, youâve to test your own experience. If you don’t then I fear youâll be living a nightmare of your own creation for the rest of your natural days.
Sorry folks, I know thatâs not a nice note to end on but thatâs what it looks like to me.