In yesterdayās post, I talked about our ever-shifting landscape. But of course, in case it wasnāt obvious, itās all a mind construct — i.e. our thoughts create our reality.
But what comes before thought?Ā
If, like me, up to the age of 43, the beat of my existence was enthroned in the conditioning that opined upon doing and/or status and/or extrinsic reward as the name of the happiness game (and of course I generalise like hell) as opposed to going as deep as to question what (if anything) exists before thinking. Thatās not to say I interminably dwell in the ā…before thinkingā space, instead, Iāve come to accept that life — all of it — is a mystery: a formless, moving, shifting experience. To arrive at that point has meant questioning everything and not to be afraid about stepping into a place of not knowing. Does it mean Iām different? Iām not sure but I do know that none of this really matters, which will jar with a lot of you in the midst of this egregious pandemic, but thatās how I see it. I donāt say that lightly but it really doesnāt. I mean, we might want it one way and not the other and we might have a long track record of success with which to demonstrate that weāre in control and thatās wonderful — truly — but having spent years trying to understand the whole willpower thing, what Iāve come to accept, and not really reluctantly, is that Iām not in control. I could give you countless examples and of course we could split existential hairs about who really is running or ordering our lives (it sure as hell aināt no homunculus) but that wouldnāt prove anything. Then again, you might want to look a little deeper at some of the decisions youāve made and ask yourself why you made that decision and not another one? And I donāt just mean the superficial āthisā or āthatā, I mean why or how you ended up where you are with so many choices available. But I digress.
Back to my thinking point.
Normally, if I opine on this point I talk about Flow as made famous by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and that feeling of being in the zone. Thatās one way to look at things but Iād invite the question:
āWhat is there when there is no thinking?ā
And I might say:
āJust this.ā
But of course: a) that doesnāt take us very far; and b) what are you supposed to do with something which in truth canāt be spoken of — i.e. the wordless?
And I think thatās the dilemma I face in trying to share what might loosely be described as a non-dual way of seeing the world. It leads to a dead end.
Or does it?
Iām not sure. Even to acknowledge that everything is changing and weāre not (fully) in control should leave you feeling, Iād hope, a little more relaxed about your extant situation. It might do the complete opposite and leave you feeling hopeless. Again, I can see that. I mean, if āitā is unfolding of its own accord, then you might decide to throw in the towel on whatever dreams and aspirations you have. You might. But thatās like saying Iām going to sit here and do absolutely sweet FA. Try it. Youāll move. Nature will see to that. And after then? Who knows.
In the final analysis, whether youāre interested in something this abstract is a moot point. I mean, itās not like Iām selling you anything and even to talk in these terms exposes me to the possibility of ridicule and thatās fine. Really it is.Ā
Anyhow, have a lovely day.
Blessings, Ju
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