I used to think that I was on a mission.
Perhaps I was, but it didn’t last.
Or more to the point, I think my market (legal services) wasn’t ready for or able to change.
I know that’s a bit cryptic but all I was trying to do was make work more meaningful and the workplace a little less brutal. (Is that really too much to ask?)
Well, there’s certainly not the burning desire to stick my nose into another snake-pit of emptiness or corral a few people into a world that they’ve no comprehension of let alone one they want to inhabit, but I still the feel the need to be troubled out loud. And sorry if that sounds egotistical — I mean who the f*ck do I think I am? — but I’m anxious to not let the world of (supposed) work etc. go completely undisturbed.
Previously, I wanted to turn my orality into a business. Again, there wasn’t really an appetite to be told something that might change the status quo but this time around, I’m not likely to or be persuaded that ditching all that I’ve reconnected with, even the scrappy legal practice, will best serve my and my family’s needs. Then again, it wouldn’t take much to push me off my safe-as-houses perch and jump into the unknown one last time.
I know I’m not doing a very good job of elucidating where I’m currently at but one thing’s for sure, I’m no longer that interested in whether a company, firm or NFP wishes to and is prepared for everyone to connect soul with role but instead (and it may in the end amount to the same thing), I’m deadly serious about how they need to re-engineer the business etc. if we’ve any chance of staving off or at least slowing down the fast-approaching demise and/or decline of the human race (they don’t call it the age of the Anthropocene for nothing). Once again, I can see how this message isn’t going to resonate when business-as-usual will be writ large but that doesn’t mean I’ve given up before I’ve even started.
Just to be clear, if I’ve any approach it’s not to cheerlead or exhort anything but to get everyone to consider a series of questions that might make them think a little more seriously about the world that they’re leaving to their children — who already feel we’ve stolen their futures — and less about the short-term effects of this month’s sales target or whatever it is that usually sits atop the monthly boardroom or Trustees’ agenda.
Only time will tell if what I’m selling will find a home in the world but trust me, having leapt once before, I know that until I open my heart and try to connect with whoever it is that’s now the Gatekeeper to the Promised Land, I won’t know how much I’m barking up the wrong tree.
Anyhow, it’s Monday. Time for another week of goggle-eyed examination of a few legal documents and, if I’m lucky, a bit more reading.