Plodding on


Is there any other way?

One step.

Then another.

Of course not, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to some dark days over the course of the pandemic, as I’ve had to get used to a very different life — haven’t we all.

There have been a few bright spots: spending more time at home; working from home; walking around the beautiful Devon lanes; and catching up with my reading. And for all those things I shall be our should be eternally grateful but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to getting lost in the existential weeds. But here again, coming across the work of Peter Zapffe and his piece The Last Messiah was massive, as was the whole antinatalism movement which had been obscured from view my whole life. And also there’s been my reexploration of the teachings — if you can call them that — of U.G. Krishnamurti. Talk about brutal in his examination of all that’s wrong with our stupid thinking selves. He’s probably the most uncompromising person out there.

What I’m really trying to say is that I’m still here — alive and kicking — and I’m slowly finding a way to cope with a different regime, a different home life but I do see how small my life has become. I have a lot of holiday time still to take before the end of the year — about 16 days — and it’s likely that I’ll take a few days off and go walking. I don’t know if I’ll stay out overnight but I do think there’s some unfinished business out there, particularly with regards the coastal parts of Devon. Absent a car, also, I’m quite looking forward to seeing where I can go on the train or bus. It will be a new experience.  I’m not sure if these will be mini adventures but it’ll be good to get out of the house and stretch my legs.

One last thing. I’m glad to be back writing to my blog. I enjoyed writing to Medium but I felt a little hemmed in by the format and the fact that I was beginning to sound too corporate for my own good.

Anyhow, it’s that time again: onwards.

Take care,

— Julian