Lost in our thinking

“My advice is: still your mind until you reach the state of no thought. If you do, you will find many of the answers you seek.” — Sydney Banks

Coaching is simple: you let your client’s wisdom emerge by hearing them into speech.

But it’s hard for them and sometimes you.

There’s so much baggage: labels, social conditioning, assumed knowledge, living up to expectations and self-worth. For most people, these are felt experiences, lived out through thought, speech and actions. Call it the thickets or their truth but sometimes it’s impossible to work out who they are.

I don’t always lead with this question (thank you Darryl Bailey for the insight), but I’ll often ask:

“What is there when there is no thinking?”


Just this?

Who really knows?

It’s (almost) impossible to describe; but one thing’s for sure, when a client has less on their mind they’re much clearer about life.

Consider: you go for a walk, you’re one with nature, you’re lost in the reverie of music or you’re just chilling? Life feels a lot easier. Why? You’re mind isn’t killing you with the incessant noise.

The truth is a blog post can’t do justice to what I’m describing. At best, it’s a pointer to the fact that absent a busy or distracted mind, there is only ‘this (moment)’ — however you wish to describe it.

If there’s an aim to my work, it’s to let you see that for yourself. As I’ve learnt from bitter experience, prescription, formula or adopting a cheerleader modality doesn’t work. If anything, it confuses the clarity that comes from understanding our innate wisdom.

One last thing. This isn’t about doing anything. That’s not to say that mindfulness practice, exercise and relaxation techniques don’t have a place, but it’s only when the penny drops that you are not your (thinking) mind that everything changes.

And I mean everything.