How often have you heard the saying, āOur life is what we make itā? But what does it mean?
- To build a career doing work thatās, at best, mediocre in order that we can save for retirement and then do all the things weāve deferred?
- To live for now whatever the consequences?
- To build an empire of things to keep us from seeing who we are?
- To eat and drink whatever we like?
- To do as little physical exercise as we can get away with?
- To spend nothing on developing our physical, emotional and spiritual well-being?
OK, perhaps the list is (slightly!) jaundiced not to say narcissistic but itās what we see and hear every day. Letās face it, if it were otherwise, so many professions would have no trade i.e. certain strands of medicine and those of the self-help variety.
The truth of the matter is that no one wants to be told how to live their life, but it doesnāt say much about us as a species that we play for such short odds. (In a way, given our āalways onā lifestyle itās a wonder that weāre living longer, but science is a wonderful thing.)
Like you, Iāve read my fair share of personal development books and articles. They can be summed up in two words: get better. The problem is that even when we have a vision for how we want our lives to be, very few of us are willing to make the personal sacrifices necessary to change the status quo.
Take something like minimalism. Perhaps it was the timing of the crash, but over the last few years thereās been a lot more written about the taboo of living with largesse and how living a minimalist lifestyle can have profound meaning. But, perhaps itās my circles of friends and acquaintances, but I donāt see people keeping up with a regimen of decluttering, living simply and making do. The talk, tempered as it is with the fragile nature of the recovery, is more or less about a return to the pre-2008 days where growth was the order of the day.
What about the need to escape cubicle nation, e.g. setting up a business of your own, as a way of self-development, happiness and pursuing the dream? Again, I donāt see much evidence of new entrants to the self-employed ranks. In fact, itās a rare thing these days that I meet someone who espouses a desire to start their own business. The talk is all about employment, security of tenure and the benefits post retirement. (Look at our school system. The premise is always about working for someone else not grooming a cabal of entrepreneurs.)
And what about physical exercise? Without wishing to sound smug (of course, you already know that itās going to sound that way), Iāve been a lifelong exercise addict and itās the thing that has made the greatest difference to my life in so many ways:
- Health benefits. Check.
- Friendships. Check.
- Pure enjoyment. Check.
In fact, when I look back on my love of physical recreation and sport, I realise that thereās never been a time in my life where I havenāt take exercise of one type or another. For the last 14 years my drug of choice has been cycling. Oh sure, I cycled as a kid, but it wasnāt until the year 2000 that I decided to invest in a Trek road bike, and since then Iāve never looked back. (Even though sport was always a way for me to give an outlet to my competitive self, as Iāve grown older itās been much more a battle with my mind and body. Approaching the age of 50, I can see why so few people take regular exercise. Itās hard. And we seem hard-wired to want to sit, which is at odds with our original pedigree as hunter-gatherers where if we didnāt move our buts off the couch, we would starve. If I have an approach to effective and regular exercise, itās quite simple; namely not to think about the need to exercise. At times, I would like it to be better structured but when I do exercise I donāt give my mind time to creep up on me and talk me out of what Iām about to do. I get dressed as quickly as I can and just do it in that moment.)
I canāt stress enough the power of exercise. Itās transformative and life-changing.
But perhaps my biggest gripe is investment in the self – the spiritual, emotional and educational.
For reasons that still allude me, we seem intent (yes, we set out with a positive intention) on limiting our growth. Iām not suggesting that life itself is not a wonderful teacher but if you think how narrow the focus of education is, why do we insist on curtailing our learning the moment we take our last exam?
Just imagine how different things would be if we read one book a month on a new subject or went to an evening class every week or studied online? For many people they would prefer to spend their money elsewhere, and of course thatās their prerogative, but for the amount of time you hear how unhappy people are at work etc, you would have thought that the easiest way to redress the balance was to stay curious, explore and learn something new. If nothing else, it might prove a worthy distraction to the day-to-day monotony of life.
In reading the foregoing, you might be left with a sense that Iāve given up on the human race ā āto hell with themā. But you would be wrong. If anything, itās completely the other way: I have this overriding sense of the possible; namely weāre all possessed of genius but so few of us want to believe in our potential that, in the end, we settle for something far less than weāre capable of. And thatās fine. But the thing is there will always exist those few individuals who show us by dint of their actions what is truly possible.
When you next come to consider where you spend your time and money, consider not just the return on investment but the value of life itself, which is our greatest gift.