How many times do you find yourself acting out and masking the real You? Once a day, more than once a day or you just don’t bother to count? You may think or, worse still, believe that it is part of the game we have to play. But is it?
You know the drill: Hold a mirror up to yourself and what do you see – the real you or some tepid (no, not timid) version of You?
Whatever happened to that rebel or that contrary voice inside that just refused to compromise? No I don’t mean being a stroppy teenager! It just seems that time leads to the institutionalisation of your personality? In some cases it seems to flatten it dead!
In the book the Go-Giver by Bob Burg (@BobBurg) and John David Mann (@JohnDavidMann) they use a character called Joe who discovers a mentor called Pindar; he introduces him to a number of people to demonstrate the 5 Laws of Stratospheric Success – the essence of the book.
The 4th law states:
“The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.”
The authors illustrate this law through a character called Debra Davenport; she gets dealt a duff hand when her husband walks out on her at aged 42, leaving her as a single mum to bring up 3 children. She finds that she is not trained for anything (or at least she thinks that is the case) and decides to train as an estate agent (realtor). She learns every (sales) close in the book but nothing seems to click. Just when she is on the verge of quitting she decides to meet one last client and just forget all the ‘stuff’ and be herself.
As she describes in the book:
“”I learned something that day [when I met the client]. When I said that my life as a mum, wife and household manager left me with nothing the marketplace wanted, I was wrong. There was something else I’d learned over those years, and that was how to be a friend. How to care. How to make people feel good about themselves. And that, my friends, is something the marketplace wants very much – always has, always will.””
In other words what she was saying was that her clients didn’t want chutzpah, hoopla or a fake personality. What they wanted was the real deal.
In the book, you guessed it, Debra goes on to be extraordinarily successful and says: “The most valuable thing you have to give people is yourself.”
Now I am not suggestion that you don’t have to gauge a situation and react accordingly – the correct language, being modest and showing respect – but I am just urging to stop and think next time you find yourself tempted to act out a character or personality that you think the other party is expecting.
Just be yourself 100%; and live for you and not someone else;