Sometimes – Julian Summerhayes

Sometimes there are no words.

No feeling even.

The world as we know it…is changing before our very eyes. Not incrementally but in a seismic way.

And I don’t know about you, but I feel powerless.

Powerless I tell you.

If the climate catastrophe wasn’t bad enough, it’s the negation and loss of a deep, radical culture and, as for the elders, well, I live in the memories of those that I can recall and the ones I can only feel in my psyche.

“How did it get like this?” is a question that snaps at my heels wherever I go. Previously, I’d have put myself out there — fully present among the great and the good of my little Tribe — but (now) I just don’t feel it.

What do I really know?

Not very much. Or so it seems. In fact the older I get, and the more I press down on my supposed understanding, the more I realise how bare is my learning. And as for wisdom, well, you can forget that.

Does that mean I feel hope-less? Sort of but actually it’s more hope free. For me, bathing in the future gaze of how it all might be doesn’t chime as much as (and as the late Thomas Merton routinely exhorted) standing on your own two feet.

Perhaps then I might root myself to a safe harbour of feeling where I’m not blown off course at the slightest whiff of disaster, bad news or the sheer enormity of our Anthropocentric situation.

As to how things will develop, who knows but sometimes it’s worth questioning the question that brought us to this point.

Take care dear readers.

Much love, Ju