What’s wrong with now? – Julian Summerhayes

Everything it seems.

If it were otherwise, we wouldn’t be seeking a better version of ourselves.

Don’t tell me you think ‘me’ is in charge.

How does that work?

What you have this ghost of a homunculus directing the show, but the rest of it — e.g. your beating heart, your sense of smell, your sympathetic nervous system — isn’t under your control?

Bring it back to now.

What’s happening in your experience?

Are you directing it?

You might think what’s the point of these esoteric pieces? I mean, they’re hardly designed to help you make your life better which is the sine qua non of every personal development programme I’ve explored. You know the drill. You’re not good enough as you are but if you follow this regime you can turn your life around. And I’m sure there are plenty of people who’ve done so, but nothing lasts. And that means you’re locked into a trope that leaves you empty of meaning.

To be clear, I’m not advocating anything. How could I? What you’re seeking — i.e. true Self — you already are.

I was for 43 years; it was only when I was forced to let go of my belief that I was in control and could direct my life that I realised the aliveness, the suchness of this moment.

If only we recognised the import of the now.

It’s conjuecture but we might see a different, more accepting world.

Much love, Ju.


If you’re able to support my work through patronage then you can either do so via Patreon or buying me a virtual coffee ☕.